Warning: Pity post. Don't read if you hate pitiful people.
I often joke about feeling old but deep down, I never really "felt" old. I know I don't look like I did when I was in my 20's but I still feel young at heart and like to think I'm not crotchety or uptight.
Last year I was interested in a guy from my Japanese class and actually asked him out. I'm pretty good about asking guys out, once I get the nerve, and I'm pretty good at being rejected too, because that is what happened. Not once even, twice! Because I had to make sure he was really rejecting me. Ha.
So life went on, I got it out of my system, we're friends (not regular or close ones but we keep in touch, especially since I haven't taken formal Japanese classes in a year due to my level not being offered).
One of our other classmates is moving to Japan to teach and we decided to go out for a Going Away Dinner. But it didn't end up being just us classmates. Guy I was formally interested in, invited a girl. I am calling her a girl because she is 21 years old! And from Kobe, Japan. And still in University. And yes, cute, but in that giggly immature way. And man, did I get depressed. Not because I want to go out with this guy anymore. More because it hit me that I AM OLD. He wasn't interested in me because I'm old! I may think I'm not, and act young, and don't look my age, but who am I kidding? Basically I am now at the age where younger guys think I'm old, men my age want to date 20 year olds and so that leaves, what, 60 and 70 year olds?
I've been wallowing a bit thinking my dating life is over (not that it has even been that active in a very long while). But really, do I want to date a man who wants 20 year olds? NO. Do I want to be 21 years old again. NO. Heck, I don't even want to be 31 years old again. I like my age because I have all my life experience inside me now. I don't put up with crap anymore, like I used to when I was in my 20's. I'm okay with being alone romantically, and even friendship-wise. I like my own company. I won't lie, it would be nice to find someone though. But I want a lot so maybe it might never happen. Or as my Mom says, "You're too picky."
So what if I want someone who looks like Gregory Peck in Captain Horatio Hornblower (Warner Bros. 1951)? Can you believe Gregory was 34 years old when he filmed this movie? I have to be honest and say no 34 year old men I ever knew looked like him! For some reason I think the men back in the 1930's to 1960's just looked older & more manly, if that's a word. It may have been the clothes they wore or their hair or the fact they got married young. I just don't know. The women too. If you look at Elizabeth Taylor in her early 20's, she looked more mature, but still beautiful & gorgeous. It's strange.
When I'm feeling down, I want to go shopping! I was so tempted today but I was good. I am really thinking about purchases before I make them. If I don't really need them, I pass and give it some time. If I still think about it after a while, then I may buy it. But I want some cute little dresses & sweaters this Fall. And a new pair of kick-ass boots.
Also, anything turquoise.
Like this:
Le Creuset Cookware in Turquoise (or Caribbean as they call it).
Or this:
A KitchenAid Mixer in turquoise. Because cooking is always on my brain. And I would love a bigger kitchen.
I made these Mini Pavlovas for a BBQ at G's this weekend. The meringue was a bit free hand but basically it's a meringue shell, filled with whipped cream, raspberries & blackberries (Ontario fresh!) and then sprinkled with powdered sugar. Very light tasting (but not so light on calories). I want to make the most of what's left in produce this Summer.
My Mom gave me a huge pot of herbs from her Garden so I'm making use of them in my cooking. I made a great Sausage & Spinach Pie tonight using some sage & parsley.
4 comments:
I need to remember to come here more often! It's almost like I wrote this, other than the dating part. I was never very good at dating, so I don't know if I could/would do it again.
I look at old pics of my mom and dad at my age and I just can't believe it, they appeared so much more mature. I sometimes think it may be a problem, that I can't see myself as I really am.
Good for you for holding back on the buying. I'm trying to learn from what Ivan says, "You don't always have to buy something when you go to the store." I try to walk out empty handed as often as possible--not easy because I like everything.
Oh yeah, and you know what? I put older men who date only 20 year olds in the same category as men who wear pinky rings--yucky!
Hey, thanks for visiting! :)
Yes, dating sucks. Actually, just finding someone I'm interested in, sucks, and then I get rejected. Good thing I'm okay with being single.
I kind of understand my Dad better now. When he was in his 50's I thought he still acted like he believed he was in his 20's and it's because you are the same inside, just different on the outside.
I have to tell you, it bothers me when I see men my age with women in their 20's because I think, hey, I still look good, I'm intelligent, have life experience, interesting, what the hell?? But I've decided it's mostly about sex and babies. What can you do?
And gee, for someone who has a headache, I'm typing an awful lot right now!
I read this and I can totally relate. I don't date 20 year old's - my math isn't always the best but beyond the creep factor, I keep thinking that I could be the kid's dad. Nah, not my thing.
That said, I liked reading through this and your solutions seemed totally smart - go shopping. Who knows...maybe the pretty dresses and kick ass boots will attract a suitor.
Well I do use the rule 1/2 my age + 7 - that way I'm not a Cougar - haha! Still haven't gone shopping though! Need those kick-ass boots to attract a suitor! ;)
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