Halloween Horror

So like I do every year (well, even *throughout* the year), I watched a bunch of horror movies during the month of October in honour of Halloween. I actually watched 31 movies for the 31 days. It was easier to do this year because I have basically been sick for the whole month with pneumonia. I honestly wonder if I'm going to be one of those old people who dies of pneumonia. It seems I have a thing for catching bugs in my lungs & chest.

Anyway, I watched a lot of horror. A lot of bad horror. I tried to mix it up by decades but then it seemed I kind of was getting a kick out of horror movies from the 80's which I had never seen (wouldn't have been able to get into some of them at the time).

Here are my picks for best & worst of Halloween Horror for 2013. The list is short. I didn't really feel like searching around for photos & doing synopses for a whole bunch of films. Plus, these ones are probably the ones that stuck out the most for me.

Without further adieu...

BEST FILMS THAT I WATCHED

Alone In The Dark (New Line Cinema 1982) I was actually pretty impressed with this horror. It had a kick-ass cast (Jack Palance, Martin Landau, Donald Pleasence) and they all seemed to be having a great time playing their parts. Donald Pleasence plays Dr. Leo Bain who runs a mental hospital but uses controversial techniques in dealing with his patients. They seem to be able to do what they please, with no boundaries. I mean, Martin Landau plays pyromaniac, Preacher Sutcliff and Dr. Bain GIVES him a book of matches. That's just playing with fire. Ha. Of course the patients are a bit delusional and are under the belief that the new doctor, Dr. Dan Potter (played by Dwight Schultz) KILLED their previous favourite doctor and now they want to exact their revenge. They get their chance when there is a town-wide power outage and four patients (Preacher, Jack Palance's Frank Hawkes, Erland van Lidth's Fatty Elster & Phillip Clark's Tom Smith) escape. Guess who they go after? Some good twists & turns and gore had me on the edge of my seat and NOT rolling my eyes. I guess the only one I was rolling my eyes at was Dr. Bain (God love Donald Pleasence, the man was a great actor but man, he played a lot of chumps). Guy was delusional!

The Unseen (Funimation 1980) I was pleasantly surprised by this film. I had never heard of it and only really knew Barbara Bach & Sydney Lassick as the stars. Look how beautiful Barbara was! Oh, and I knew Barbara's boyfriend, Tony Ross, played by Doug Barr (he from The Fall Guy later on). Barbara plays Jennifer Fast, a television reporter who is in Buellton & Solvang (loved seeing the exterior shots as I was there with E & C back in 2006) to cover a festival with her friends. She has just had a fight with her boyfriend, who is recovering from an injury and who Jennifer feels is just not being realistic enough about life. Because it's so busy, no accommodations are available and Jennifer and her sister, Karen, and friends, end up staying at the home of a nice gentleman, named Ernest Keller (Sydney Lassick) because he offers to put them up. But WHY is he offering? Dude was very creepy, as is the house, and strange things start to happen and the women start dying one by one. What is REALLY in the basement? The thing is, I think I was supposed to feel grossed out by what was in the basement but I ended up feeling a lot of empathy instead. The movie had a nice eeriness about it.

WORST FILMS THAT I WATCHED

Boardinghouse (Blustarr 1982) Yeah,  this picture probably gives you a good indication as to the type of film this is. BAD. Like I need to see this guy almost naked, meditating in his office. Reminds me of some of the guys I end up next to in hot yoga. I know it gets hot in there but honestly, I just can't handle when a guy is basically wearing a diaper to work out. Anyway, I digress but I guess this movie was made by an "adult entertainment" film company that wanted to expand into something more mainstream. Well, I don't think they succeeded. Mind you, the film is entertaining in itself because the acting is so bad & there is really no plot to speak of. Toss in a lot of naked women & that's the gist of it. Loved how the guy above, Jim Royce (played by John Wintergate) put an ad in the classifieds basically saying he only wanted hot women under the age of 25 to come live with him as boarders in a big house he inherited. Once all these hot women arrive, weird things (again, it's a theme in horror movies) start to happen and people start to die. And no one suspects the house?? I would suspect that damn house because it was so damn ugly. It's bad, people.

Necropolis (Taryn Productions 1987) Here's another film where the actors weren't going to win any Oscars. The main character, Eva, played by LeeAnne Baker is a witch from the past who is now in 1987 NYC looking for the life force from humans to feed her coven (and herself, I guess). Doesn't she kind of look like Madonna in her True Blue stage? Well this witch is also a dancer (not as a career but as a part of her rituals when she is going to kill people) and her dancing is not pretty. So basically this witch is trying to get back at Tony, played by Andrew Bausili because he thwarted her killing of a virgin back in the 17th century. And wouldn't you know, this virgin and her soon-to-be-husband are now in the 20th century too. It's all very bizarre and maybe it's meant to be more deep & complicated than I got from it but all in all, it's a stupid film (though I'm sure it has its admirers) and not enough gore to make up for it (one must have gore in a horror film, it's the whole point, no?).

I guess I'll wait awhile before I delve into the Christmas movies. However, I have already started my cooking/baking/making edible gifts so I am not running around with my head cut off in December. I might have A LOT this year, so anyone want extras?